Has Anybody Seen My Yarn?

Has anybody seen my Yarn?
(this poem is based on a true story and loosely based on the poem "Has Anybody Seen My Mouse")


I had pulled it out, for just a minute,
Admiring the colors, the greens and blues in it,
And while I glanced away, just for a split second,
(as I had heard some sort of mysterious crash),
I looked back to find the yarn was gone,
just like that, in a serendipitous flash!

What had happened? Was I losing my mind?
Had the yarn disappeared, right before my very eyes?

It was then that I spotted him, such a mischievous cat,
It was then that I realized this had all been just an act.
He had been after my yarn all along!

I tried to catch him, oh how I tried....
I knew he was somewhere about the house.
I looked under the bed, under the couch, under the table and throughout all the shelves.
Under the sheets and under the bar
Has anyone seen my yarn?

It’s just a small skein, silk blend mohair to be exact,
In blues and greens, as I mentioned previously,
Is it true that he has gotten away with this, I wondered?
Is it true he could have been this sly and sneaky?

He must be somewhere, as I frantically searched
Pulling on my hair so hard it actually hurt.

I decided I would ask Abby, my beloved schnauzer,
hater of all things “cat”,
“Have you seen my yarn?”
She looks the other way, pretending to ignore me…

Could she be in on this too, I wonder?
Or is she just pissed off at the cat for always trying to steal her thunder?

At this point I’m not sure, so decide to ask the question again, in another way….
“Have you seen the cat?”
She looks at me like I’m speaking a foreign language.
“You know”, I say, “the one who lives here?
He’s overweight, has a big, white belly, black nose, always trying to bite your toes….”

This sparks some interest!
She looks at me and lets out one lonely “bark”,
and motions her head toward the closet,
the one that’s down the hall, and known for being very, very dark.

The closet, could she be mistaken?
I slowly look up to see the closet door slightly ajar.
Hmmm, I wonder, could the cat really have pried the door open just that far?

I slowly make my way down the hall,
Tiptoeing, as quietly as a mouse…
Still, I felt my footsteps could be heard throughout the house!

I sneak right up against the closet door,
Slowly peek in, my eyes moving about,
I see nothing at first, except complete and utter darkness…
I think to myself, could the dog have led me astray?

I was just about to look away,
When just then, I spot a hint of yellow,
And I focus a little more
Could it be the cat’s eyes looking back at me, I was thinking,
Then, all at once, something bolts at the door!

And quick like a bunny, fast like a flash,
Just like that,
I reach down and grab him~
I catch the sneaky cat in his well-planned act!

I hold on to him tight, and take him into the next room,
Should I torture him right now, I wonder,
or should I question him and make him squirm?

I decide to interrogate him, ask him some questions
Would he face me in this instance, did he know my intentions?
I hold him up, where I can see directly into his eyes,
When then, much to my surprise, I see an ever so tiny piece of my yarn coming out of his mouth, just near his whiskers.

I give him the “eye”, which for me is pretty bad,
The cat knows I mean business at this point,
he knows I’m especially mad.

I pull on the yarn, ever so slightly, letting him know I’m serious.
He lets out a cough, the hairball type,
I become even more furious.

I set him down, not on the carpet,
but on the hardwood floor,
where he continues to have a hairball fit, much to my horror.

This goes on for several minutes,
while I impatiently wait for this to quit,
And finally I think to myself,
I have had it, this is it!

I reach down and yank at the yarn,
which is now halfway out of his mouth.
Much to my surprise, though, it’s longer than I thought plausible….
He has eaten the entire skein of my blue and green mohair!
How was this even physically possible?

I pull and pull and pull on the yarn, and the yarn just seems to be endless,
Until finally a giant portion of the skein is revealed.
It was then that I realized…
The cat had obviously considered my yarn a delicious four course meal.

I look at the cat in utter amazement,
I was speechless, none the less,
I looked at the dog, and she, of course, looked away,
She was probably in on this as well,
She looked pretty guilty, as far as I could tell.

So, I slowly sit down, holding my wet and
now mutilated skein of yarn,
Ruined, none the less,
My poor heart sad at the thought of it.
I was devastated, I must confess.

I looked down, and the cat just looks at me, with those eyes and blank stare.
I can’t decide at this point whether to comfort him for feeling so ill,
or to scold him for eating my beautiful mohair.

After sitting there for awhile, thinking it over,
A light bulb suddenly clicked!
I decide there’s a positive to this story after all,
I could use this whole situation to my benefit.

I grab my coat and car keys, (and my purse, of course),
and climb into my car,
I realize then that things could be so much worse!

A trip to purchase more yarn won’t be so bad, in fact.
As I reasoned in my mind
Yarn diet? I forgot all about that pact
As I made the, oh so familiar drive.

Maybe there’s something on sale,
Maybe they have the needles I’ve been dreaming about,
my mind was racing like crazy,
By the time I reached the store,
I was so excited I could scream and shout!

Mad at my cat for eating my mohair?
Nah, that’s ancient history!
As I head home with a full bag of yarn and a happy heart,
The day with my cat is only a mere memory.